Please stop yelling at me...Stephen A. Smith. I didn't do anything wrong. So why are you shouting so?
You see, I can tolerate Stephen A. in small doses. And lately, I've been getting them. Haven't seen him on SportsCenter in a while, because I basically ignored their NBA Playoff coverage. And I don't watch "Quite Frankly".
But they let him on the NBA Draft show last night. And I was watching.
SO I WAS EXPOSED TO THREE HOURS OF AN ANGRY NBA ANALYST YELLING AT ME FOR NO REASON. HE YELLED ABOUT ANDREA BARGNANI. HE YELLED ABOUT RUDY GAY. HE YELLED ABOUT RANDY FOYE. HE YELLED ABOUT ISIAH THOMAS (well, who can blame him for that?).
STOP YELLING AT ME. YOU ARE WEARING A MICROPHONE. THE MICROPHONE WORKS. I CAN HEAR YOU.
Jay Bilas was pretty good. Dan Patrick did a great job anchoring the whole thing, especially when David Stern came out to take a shot at him (something like "I'm in the back waiting for you to say something nice about one of our draft picks" - it was gold).
(That, by the way, is the best part about the NBA Draft. The people in the theater can hear what the ESPN guys are saying, and they react to it. So I can take some solace in that Stephen A. was yelling at all of them, too.)
Personally, I can't wait for Bill Simmons' ESPN.com draft diary, which should be up shortly. He always picks through everything with a fine-tooth comb, so to speak. And I'm sure he'll have something to say about the insane overuse of words like "long" and "upside", along with the phenomenon that is the Yelling Man.
OMG THE WOLVES DIDN'T SCREW UP. Really. They didn't. And I salute Kevin McHale. You could argue that Brandon Roy is a better player because he's "longer" than Randy Foye. You could argue that Roy is a better fit as a "tweener" point/shooting guard because he'll handle the ball better. But Foye can slash the lane, and he can distribute the ball. Not only that, but he's a very good three-point shooter. Either way, the Wolves would have been in good shape, but you could probably argue that the "Dwyane Wade" comparisons floating around Foye were too attractive for Minnesota to pass up when they had a chance to make this deal.
--> The Blazers were stupid not to take Adam Morrison with that second pick. Then again, they're known for being stupid. In their defense, trading for the rights to local boy Roy was the right move when they passed up on Morrison.
--> I really like what the Knicks did...if the plan was to destroy the franchise. It was great that New Jersey took Marcus Williams after Isiah insanely passed on him. It ensures that Williams will be torturing the Knicks for years...long after Isiah gets fired next spring.
Is this really a punishment? Hall of Fame Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker turned in a woman for stalking him. That woman, Ann E. Ladd, has allegedly been stalking Uecker for six or seven years, going so far as to follow the Brewers to out-of-town games and finding the hotel that Uecker was staying at on the road trips.
Anyway, in advance of a trial, Ladd has been ordered to stay away from Brewers games, along with staying at least 1,000 feet away from Uecker at all times.
Don't you think that a potential punishment of "having to stay away from Brewers games" would potentially drive many Brewers fans to stalk Uecker?
"Want to go to the game today, Dave?"
"Can't. I got a restraining order after I threatened to lay on the hood of Uecker's car until he signed my Brewers hat. Oh, damn. I can't go to the stadium to watch the Brewers lose to the Pirates. I'm so heartbroken."