Vikings Fans Close to Relief, Rejoicing

The last two days have been long ones for fans of the Minnesota Vikings.

Between non-sensical debates, stupid amendments, and senseless alternative ideas, the Minnesota Vikings stadium plan has survived both houses of the state Legislature.

The House passed the bill Monday night, and the Senate followed up on Tuesday.

Wednesday is a big day, though. The bills are different, which means a conference committee will convene to reconcile them into one bill that will then be presented to the House and Senate for another round of voting.

The committee members will meet sometime Wednesday (monitor this page for updates on the schedule), according to reports Tuesday night. Among the six on the committee is Duluth Sen. Roger Reinert, who voted for the stadium bill. In fact, all the conference committee members -- three from the Senate and three from the House -- voted for it.

This isn't over, yet, but it's getting close. The Senate got a little silly -- trying to throw in an amendment requiring a referendum in Minneapolis for the city's share of the cost -- but eventually passed a pretty sane bill.

The Vikings may end up kicking in a bit more money, but this is looking like something that could be signed into law by the end of the week. From there, Vikings fans can focus on football and watch their team get better under GM Rick Spielman and head coach Leslie Frazier.

And, yes, it will get better.

Kurt Zellers Confuses and Contradicts

Minnesota House Speaker Rep. Kurt Zellers -- a Republican from Maple Grove by way of Grand Forks -- spent much of this year's legislative session saying nothing of note about the Vikings stadium issue.

Based on his comments Thursday, he probably should have kept it that way.

When it was announced that the $975 million plan to build the Vikings a new stadium in Minneapolis would finally get a vote in the Minnesota House and Senate, Zellers made it abundantly clear that he could not support the bill.

You know, the bill that members of his party helped negotiate and write. That bill.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Zellers then appeared on KFAN with Dan Barreiro Thursday afternoon. Asked about the prospect of the Vikings moving, Zellers admitted he didn't want to see that, called himself a Vikings fan, and then said ...

"That's why we're gonna have a vote on the House floor. Hopefully it will pass, and hopefully the governor will get a chance to sign the bill."

You know, the bill he's not going to vote for. That bill. He's not going to vote for it, but he wants it to pass.

On KFAN (podcast it here), Zellers tried his best to blame Governor Mark Dayton for the bill's struggles, and also did his part to put pressure for the bill's passage on the governor and the legislature's DFL minority.

Yes, you heard that correctly. It's up to the minority party to get a bill passed, according to the House Speaker.

This is your government at work, people. For six years, Democrats and Republicans alike have put off the inevitable -- that the Metrodome would have to be replaced. That a Democrat is a leading force in this particular stadium bill and a Republican has come out vehemently opposed to the bill (while hoping it passes) is simply a factor of timing.

Zellers wants to play the blame game. In doing so, he contradicts himself, both in terms of how people should see this situation, and how he feels about the bill. Seriously, how can you say you want something to pass when you're not going to vote in favor of it? It's confusing and hard to follow, but in the end, it's all about making this stadium a political pawn to get the things passed that Zeller wants.

It's not about blame. The Vikings stadium is simply the government shutdown of 2012. They can't close the government this year (the budget is a two-year cycle), so they need another issue to bicker and blame each other for.

You might remember that -- during the shutdown -- Dayton worked his rear end off, trying to get the majority party to negotiate a budget that all sides could agree upon. In the end, after seeing no progress, Dayton relented and gave the GOP virtually everything the GOP asked for, because the alternative was keeping the government in lockdown mode.

There is no "giving in" this time for Dayton. He sat down with Republican leaders and worked up a stadium bill. Now, one of those Republican leaders is speaking out against the bill.

While hoping it passes.

Just another day in Minnesota politics, I guess.

(You can make your voice heard. Go here, look up your local representative, and make a phone call or write an e-mail. Do not let this pass without making sure you contact your representative. Just please be respectful when you do, no matter your feelings on the issue.)

Vikings Stadium Becomes Political Pawn

Just one week ago, the Minnesota Vikings' push for a new Minneapolis stadium seemed like a legislative priority. It seemed important.

Granted, this all happened after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell visited the Capitol and delivered what one prominent Minnesota politician called a "reality check," but it happened. For a few days after Goodell's visit -- he said there was no threat, but it's clear there was at least an implied threat of franchise relocation, which is not at all desirable in NFL circles because of how valuable they feel the franchise is in its current city -- it seemed politicians cared about this issue for the first time in a long time.

You see, Minnesota's NFL franchise has been trying for over a decade to get a new stadium to replace the antiquated, crappy, and awfully antiquated (did I mention that it's crappy?) Metrodome. Since the funding for Target Field and TCF Bank Stadium was finalized in 2006, ownership has been trying (but ultimately waiting patiently) to get something done.

Until Goodell visited, there was no urgency.

Ten days after Goodell stopped by, the urgency has again departed. Instead, Minnesota's "leadership" has turned the stadium -- and, by extension, the franchise's future in Minnesota -- into just another political pawn.

A chief author of the Minnesota Vikings stadium plan said Sunday it was "very questionable" that the project would win approval unless Gov. Mark Dayton and Republican legislative leaders first reach agreement on other issues.

"Without a global agreement, without an agreement on a bonding bill and a tax bill," said Rep. Morrie Lanning, R-Moorhead, "it's very questionable whether there will be a vote on the stadium."

... Lanning seemed to dangle the promise of the stadium passing the Republican-controlled House -- he said there were enough votes -- but said it all depended on Dayton's willingness to agree to business tax relief and a smaller state bond package.

... The governor said Saturday that the Republicans' "view of compromise is doing things their way" and "that's just not going to work this time."

... Republicans want the elimination of the statewide business property tax, a move the governor has resisted because it could require dipping into the state's emergency budget reserves. A House-Senate conference panel nonetheless agreed late Saturday on a series of business-friendly tax provisions, including a freeze on business property taxes.

Dayton and DFLers meanwhile want a larger state bonding bill, spending that many Republicans oppose.

The Vikings stadium, which has its own set of political problems, for now seems to be caught in the middle.

No one is saying that the stadium is more important than the other issues on the table. I understand that a bonding bill is a big deal, and it has to get done before the session ends.

But this is the same group that somehow took time last week to declare a state soil. Yeah, Minnesota has a state dirt. Great.

Priorities aren't exactly a high point of politicians. They are worried about their re-elections ahead of anything else, and if they think they can put a hot-button issue off during an election year, they're going to do it almost every time.

Of course, if a stadium deal doesn't get done before the end of this session, it might be time to bury the Vikings franchise in some of that state dirt.

Vikings Might Be On Way Out

I don't think I have to remind anyone around here of my Packers fandom. I'm almost insane at times. But there are times for poking fun at rivals, and there are times for supporting them. This is a time to reach out and support a rival. The Vikings stadium situation absolutely sucks. As I noted Tuesday, the Vikings have been saying all the right things throughout this process, not dropping threats and not making it sound like the organization will move on at any point. Now, the words have gotten tougher.

Vikings vice president Lester Bagley said waiting until next year is "not an option." Bagley stopped short of threatening that the Vikings would leave Minnesota, but he said the issue must be settled in 2012. Team officials have called the Metrodome outdated and no longer profitable enough for the Vikings.

"There's no next year," Bagley said. "Our state leaders know that if we want an NFL team in this market we have to resolve this stadium issue."

The Vikings have no option but to play in the Metrodome in the 2012 season, but the team's lease in the 30-year-old facility is expired and officials have said they don't plan to renew it.

It's about time. Personally, I think the Vikings should have used the "or else" card, making it known they are willing to leave, instead of just implying it.

Despite the fact that multiple Republicans and Democrats voted against the stadium bill, House Speaker Kurt Zellers -- a Republican -- SHOCKINGLY blames this all on the DFL.

Zellers put the blame on Democrats for the setback in the House. Of the six "yes" votes, only one was a Democrat. During a four-hour hearing prior to the vote, House members raised concerns that the stadium proposal was a bad deal for taxpayers and an indefensible use of public money when the state is just starting to recover from years of budget problems.

"Now it's probably up to the governor and the Democrat leader in the House to decide if they want to go forward," Zellers said. "It was very clear last night they weren't interested in passing the bill out of committee."

Shut up.

Gov. Mark Dayton -- a Democrat -- is mad at people, even some in his own party.

Dayton said he had contact with two DFLers on the 15-member House Government Operations and Elections before Monday's meeting, and indicated that one DFLer promised to vote for the stadium but did not and that the other legislator never returned his phone call. He did not identify the two DFLers.

"I talked to one of them. He said he was going to be helpful, and wasn't," Dayton said.

Dayton might not be the best governor this state's ever had, but he's at least tried to step forward and make something happen. The problem here is Dayton can't do it himself. He's relying on people in both houses of the Legislature who are more worried about their own re-election bids than they are about being leaders and getting anything of note done. By not acting on this stadium situation -- putting it off instead of voting it completely down -- these political hacks are hoping to send a message to their constituents that they're trying to do their due diligence.

Reality is that they're afraid to make a decision because they know deciding either way will have an impact on their campaigns. It's easier to hem and haw and not say anything than it is to have the courage to take a stand and live with your decision, apparently.

Instead of voting these spineless, self-centered, worthless people out of office, the voters of the state will choose to re-elect them, buying into their bushels full of garbage about how the state is better off with them in office.

The Vikings have been waiting -- patiently, to be fair -- since 2006. They've watched the University of Minnesota and the Twins get shiny new facilities, while constantly being told to wait, and their turn will come. The Vikings are tired of waiting.

Frankly, who can blame them?

It's a reality that this team could be facing its final season in Minnesota. There are two weeks left in the legislative session. There is no indication from anyone that a special session could be in the cards should this not get done by the end of the month. There is also no indication from anyone in charge that a better day is on the horizon.

Losing this team would be a huge tragedy for its fans, the state as a whole, and also for fans of the Packers. What the hell fun would the NFC North be without the Vikings? Might it give the Packers a new division rival (no way a relocated Vikings team stays in the NFC North)? Who cares?

The Vikings-Packers rivalry is one of the best in the NFL. It's (for the most part) closely-contested, with legendary performances over the years from guys like Favre, Moss, Cunningham, Freeman, Sharper, Longwell, Rodgers, Peterson, and Ponder. Some of them have had legendary performances on both sides of the rivalry. Losing that would be a loss for Packers fans, as well as the people of Minnesota.

It's too bad the politicians charged with making decisions feel they have more important things to do than their jobs.

Minnesota Legislature Drops Ball

This might be a worse fumble than anything Adrian Peterson uncorked in his career -- before he seemingly stopped fumbling altogether.

The Minnesota House Government Operations and Gobbledegook Committee voted down the Vikings stadium bill Monday night, after some four hours of debate. The plan to build a near-$1 billion stadium near the site of the Metrodome to replace the Metrodome now goes back to the proverbial drawing board.

(Before we had drawing boards, what did we go back to? -- Steven Wright)

The Vikings are trying to say the right things, though I have to think it is becoming difficult at this point.

Lester Bagley, the Vikings' point man on the stadium push at the Capitol, said afterward that the team was "extremely disappointed" at the outcome. "I guess I would ask the state, what else would you expect us to do? What else can we do?" he said.

... Bagley said the team will continue to push the proposal in the remaining two weeks of the session. "But this is extremely disappointing, and it sends a strong message to the Vikings and the NFL about the situation," he said. He would not say whether the committee vote made the team's future in Minnesota any less secure.

My allegiances are clear. But I also maintain a semblance of common sense, unlike most politicians. This isn't about giving a billionaire (Zygi Wilf) a football stadium. Wilf is willing to put up almost half the money himself, and the state will make its share back over time, thanks to taxes paid by the team and by the players who will play games in the stadium.

(Most of you probably know this, but opposing players have to pay taxes for games they play in Minnesota. Not to mention the Vikings players do the same for their eight home games.)

Not only that, but the White Earth tribe has offered to pretty much cover the state's share. All we have to do is let them run a casino in the metro area.

(I don't want to get into a gambling debate, but I can't fathom why anyone would turn down the offer made by this tribe. The problem here is that the state is already invested in its lottery, and no one wants to do anything that could cut into the money pulled in by the state lottery. Either that, or people are afraid of this invisible backlash against gambling. You pick.)

If the unthinkable happens, and this team leaves, there will be many senators and representatives who face backlash in their districts, and it might be enough to cost some of them their jobs. If that's not bad enough, it's a virtual certainty that there would be action taken at some point to get a stadium built, and the NFL would find a way to get Minnesota another team.

What's the point? Why turn into another Cleveland, which wouldn't build a stadium for Art Modell, then suddenly found a way to get something done when the opportunity for an expansion team presented itself? Why be Houston, which lost a good franchise -- with an awesome logo -- in the Oilers, only to start over with the expansion Texans?

The Baltimore Ravens and Tennessee Titans have both been to Super Bowls. The new Browns and Texans have combined for two playoff appearances in their franchises' histories.

Yeah, that worked out well.

Just build it, Minnesota. Get a hold of your representatives and make your feelings known. Don't let them dictate the ultimate fate of your favorite football team.

Vikings Situation Starts Looking Bad

No one questions my loyalty toward the Packers. I want to see my favorite football team win, and I don't care who they play against. Obviously, though, it's a bit more special when they play the Vikings and Bears.

The fun of NFC North rivalries could end up being tempered a bit soon, thanks to uninspired, clueless politicians in Minnesota.

The Vikings stadium debate has been going on since Red McCombs bought the team in 1998, starting spewing "Purple Pride" nonsense, and quickly threatened to try to move the team to San Antonio. When he couldn't get a new stadium built in Minnesota, McCombs sold the team to Zygi Wilf in 2005. Wilf has continued the effort to build a new home for his team, but he has conducted himself with more dignity and less bluster than McCombs.

Hasn't worked.

In February, the Vikings' lease with the Metrodome will expire. There is still no deal to replace it, and I think you can safely assume the Vikings won't be renewing their agreement to play at the Metrodome without a new stadium in place.

With the end of the lease on the horizon, I fully expected Minnesota politicians to act with a sense of urgency to get financing agreed upon and prepare to put shovels in the dirt.

Instead, the politicians have acted like they've been acting in Minnesota for years. They've done virtually nothing.

This is a state that's had two government shutdowns in the last decade. This is a state that needed a decade to figure out how to get a stadium done for its Major League Baseball team. This is a state that lost its NHL franchise -- process that ... Minnesota, a state where hockey rules over all, lost its NHL franchise -- before it figured out that a new arena might be a good idea.

(Yes, I know Norm Green sucks. But let's play along, shall we?)

Now, this state is potentially on the verge of losing its NFL team. And like when it lost the NHL, there is no promise that the NFL will ever return if it leaves.

Politicians continue to do ... nothing.

It's disappointing, even for a Packer fan. No sane Packer fan wants to see the Vikings leave. No respectable fan of any team wants to see another dedicated fan -- or, in this case, tens or hundreds of thousands of them -- go through the agony of seeing his/her favorite team move.

Same goes here. Vikings fans are generally good fans, just like everyone else's fans. There are bad apples in every fanbase, but those bad apples shouldn't make you want to see a team move. For a fan of a team, there is nothing more hurtful or agonizing.

And to see politicians -- not greedy, unreasonable owners -- doing a team in makes it even sadder.

The latest news on Thursday is encouraging, and hopefully it's not too late.

Democratic Gov. Mark Dayton and Republican bill authors met on Thursday morning and pledged to pass a Vikings stadium bill this year, with gaming as a funding source.

"If you're tired of it, so am I," said Rep. Morrie Lanning (R-Moorhead), co-author of the stadium bill that was presented this past spring. "I think the public is tired of it too. We need to make a decision."

Dayton announced last month he hoped to present a stadium plan on Monday and call a special session before Thankgiving. But that was thrown into limbo on Wednesday, after an email surfaced from House Speaker Kurt Zellers saying he wouldn't support a special session on the stadium bill and questioning the urgency of the issue.

If a deal is done, the Vikings will stay. But if nothing is done by Feb. 1, all bets are off.

Should the unthinkable happen, I think we all know who to point the finger at.

Minnesota Government Shutdown Affects Many

July 1 is a Friday, and it's supposed to signal the start of a festive summer weekend. The Fourth of July is a wonderful holiday, where we celebrate our nation's independence by lighting fuses that lead to small explosions and pretty colors in the sky.

In Minnesota, however, things will be tempered a bit. Come Friday, the state's government will cease operations, barring a last-minute agreement on a state budget.

There is plenty of blame to go around, but the people most affected by the potential shutdown share exactly zero percent of the blame.

Those people are the ones who suffer, because they lose their jobs. Even if it's only temporary, it's lost income for people who don't deserve to lose their income.

The sports world isn't immune to these problems. Canterbury Park in Shakopee is facing the prospect of shutting down on its busiest weekend of the year.

While entries were being taken for Saturday's nine-race card, Ramsey County Chief Judge Kathleen Gearin ruled that oversight of horse racing is not a core government function, meaning Canterbury would have to close after Thursday night's races if the government shuts down.

But Canterbury and its horsemen have not given up, and they will get a hearing in Scott County District Court on Thursday for a temporary injunction that would keep the track open.

... In Canterbury's track kitchen, on the clocker's stand and at the racing office, most conversations Wednesday revolved around the shutdown. If it happens, Canterbury could not continue racing, because the Minnesota Racing Commission -- which regulates the sport -- would close. But the commission is fully funded by the track and its horsemen, who have paid for its services through July.

Their attorneys argue that because no public funds are involved, the track should be allowed to stay open. Canterbury President Randy Sampson said he was shocked by Gearin's decision, which stated that her authority was limited to core government functions -- and declared racing was not among those. But the ruling grants the horsemen the right to appeal, which they will do.

The reality of this situation is that our politicians continue to pass the buck, refusing to hold themselves accountable for this mess. It's a mess that's been predicted by many for months, largely because we all knew these people couldn't be trusted to provide the leadership necessary to avoid it.

While the politicians pass the buck, real people are being affected. Naturally, our politicians won't lose their jobs. They won't have to give back any of the salaries they've been stealing.

(Why do I say that? Because their primary job this year -- and they've known this since the legislative session began in January -- was to avoid a government shutdown. That was the only thing they had to do. They not only failed, but they have been half-assing the effort to avoid this shutdown. In any other line of work, such a failure to perform the very basic function of the job would result in a nearly-immediate termination. In politics, these people will actually think they're doing a good job and should be re-elected when the time comes.)

It's wholly disappointing to think about all the services that will go away for the Fourth of July weekend.

Of course, it was completely avoidable. Too bad no one was able to look beyond their own interests to actually make the effort.

Tim Pawlenty Trips On Own Rhetoric

Sunday, former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, now running for President, appeared on the always-friendly Fox News Sunday to rip fellow Republican candidate Mitt Romney.

Well, I'm sure he was there to rip the current President, because that's how Fox News Sunday rolls, but it turned into an opportunity to rip Romney. Since they're rivals for the right to lose the election earn the Republican nomination next year, Pawlenty couldn't turn down a chance to take a shot at Romney's health care plan when he was governor of Massachusetts.

Then the two appeared together for a Republican debate on CNN. Hilarity ensued, as Pawlenty tried to explain his shot. He didn't do well.

Enjoy Jon Stewart breaking down the debate.

The Daily Show - Indecision 2012 - Second Republican Debate Is a Success
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This is why you have to be careful with your rhetoric. You can hear Pawlenty backpedaling while trying to tap-dance at the same time, and he's lucky he didn't fall and hit his head. That might have required care from a doctor.

St. Paul Mayor Offers to Trade Vikings Back to Minneapolis for Timberwolves, Lynx

Chris Coleman is the mayor of St. Paul, the largest city in Ramsey County.

Keep that in mind when reading the latest developments in the Vikings stadium saga.

Coleman was conspicuous by his silence as the Vikings announced their deal with the county to build a new stadium in Arden Hills, a suburb of the Twin Cities. The deal calls for a sales tax in Ramsey County to help fund the facility's costs.

The majority of people who are keeping tabs on this drama took his silence as some sort of odd opposition to the plan.

Wednesday, Coleman confirmed those suspicions. Not only did he make clear he didn't like the plan the Vikings are pushing, but he offered a rather ... um, interesting? ... plan of his own.

St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman floated a jumbo-sized plan Wednesday that would address Minnesota's stadium dilemma with a new statewide tax of 2 cents per alcoholic drink while keeping the Vikings in Minneapolis and moving pro basketball to St. Paul.

Coleman said his plan would raise $48 million a year for sports facilities. He said a Vikings plan to move to Ramsey County doesn't make sense; his plan would not move the team but send the Timberwolves and the Lynx to St. Paul to share the Xcel Energy Center with the Wild. Target Center in downtown Minneapolis would become a practice facility.

Coleman also would use the per-drink tax at bars and restaurants to build a St. Paul Saints ballpark in Lowertown and upgrade recreation facilities throughout the state.

In essence, Coleman just offered to trade the Vikings to Minneapolis for the NBA's Timberwolves and WNBA's Lynx.

Of course, this isn't really what Coleman is trying to do.

Coleman said he was trying to end competition between the Xcel and Target Center for tax subsidies and concerts. "My primary concern is there not be additional taxpayer investment [in Target Center] because it just exacerbates the competition," he said.

And Minneapolis not jumping at this idea shouldn't be taken as a sign they don't want the Vikings back. There's more meaning to it than that.

Minneapolis City Council President Barbara Johnson said that as much as the city wants the Vikings to stay, she called it "ridiculous'' to give up Target Center. "It provides us with events many, many times a year, many more than the Vikings playing at the Metrodome,'' she said. "We're a big enough metro to support two" arenas.

Despite the fact that this plan seems absolutely bizonkers, it might actually have some traction.

The mayor was smart on a couple fronts. First, he made this a statewide tax, appealing to those in Duluth and Hinckley and Virginia and Two Harbors and International Falls and St. Cloud and Mankato and other places in this great state that love the Vikings, Wild, Timberwolves, and Lynx, and want them to play in top-notch facilities.

It also throws a bone to those who don't care what kind of facilities the state's pro teams play in, by adding the provision that uses some of this money to build and upgrade recreation facilities in the state to help kids find places to play. There's a sales tax increase in St. Paul thrown in to help with bond payments and libraries.

The Wild played the nice guy, issuing a statement welcoming the idea of sharing the XCel Energy Center.

This proposal from Mayor Coleman, for the Xcel Energy Center to host the Timberwolves and Lynx, is a new idea in this discussion. It is certainly possible from a facility standpoint.  Multiple tenants in one building is common and is the case in most major markets around the country including Dallas, Denver, Chicago, and Los Angeles, where the Staples Center hosts three major league sports teams. While we haven’t discussed this idea with the Timberwolves, we would be happy to do so if the Wolves were interested in discussing this proposal.

Over the past few years, the Wild has developed plans for building improvements to keep the Xcel Energy Center a state of the art facility, including a multi-level expansion on the building’s north side. We have also supported the City of St. Paul’s work to build an Amateur Sports Center of Excellence on 7th Street across from the arena, which could also be used as a practice facility for the Wild.  Those existing plans could easily be modified to accommodate the needs of the Timberwolves and Lynx, including additional locker rooms, lower bowl modifications and additional retail and office space should the Wolves and Lynx decide to move to St. Paul.

In the end, Coleman is arguing that the Twin Cities aren't big enough for both Target Center and the XCel Energy Center. He's also saying that there isn't anywhere in St. Paul to host a Vikings stadium, and he believes the Arden Hills location benefits other locations outside Ramsey County more than it would the county or the city of St. Paul.

The Vikings want no part of Coleman's plan, but in the end, the Legislature gets to have a say in this, too. We'll see in the coming days how politicians react to this proposal, and how the citizens react. Those are probably more significant moving forward than how the Vikings feel.

You have to understand the team's perspective. They have a sweetheart deal with Ramsey County, and they don't want to cede any of the perks or control they're being given in order to back one of these other proposals.

It sounds selfish, but it's part of negotiating. When you get something you want, you don't offer to give it up.

'You Wonder Sometimes How Our Government Puts On its Pants in the Morning'

Our latest "Daily Show" video comes from Tuesday's presentation, when Jon Stewart harpooned Congress for a proposed amendment to the Zadroga bill that calls for those applying for 9/11 benefits to be checked first to make sure they aren't terrorists.

Yes, they want to check the 9/11 first responders to make sure they aren't terrorists.

Meanwhile, we continue to hand benefits to tons of other people without checking to make sure they aren't terrorists. It's apparently only the first responders we're worried about.

The Daily Show - Friends Without Benefits - 9/11 Responders
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Great rant, as always.

Zadroga Bill Filibuster Shows How Broken We Are

I don't write about politics, well, ever, really. I care about this country, and I care about the people who we elect to run it. At the same time, I've become extremely jaded over the process over the last six years or so. I find us in a never-ending cycle in America.

It starts when we elect a majority into Congress. Inevitably, we'll elect that party into the White House, get pissed off, throw that majority out of Congress, and probably elect the other party into the White House. Repeat cycle.

Doesn't work every time, but it's getting close.

Why can't either party hold a majority for a significant amount of time? Because they lie to get elected, act like jackasses once they're elected, then expose themselves to the opponent in their re-election run because it was found they were full of garbage to get elected in the first place.

Once in a while, something happens that reminds us (or should remind us) of how broken and totally messed up our political system is. The most recent example is the Zadroga Bill. Held up in the Senate, this bill would provide additional health care benefits for those who served as first responders during the 9/11 attacks.

I mean, duh. Pretty simple, right.

Wrong.

As I said, it's held up in the Senate. Just despicable. Here is a piece from Thursday's Daily Show With Jon Stewart, where he talks to 9/11 first responders.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
9/11 First Responders React to the Senate Filibuster
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Just make sure you get those tax cuts passed for the wealthy, guys. Nice priorities.

Miss Him Yet?

(Minneapolis Star Tribune photo)

Let's think about that for a second.

No.

On the bright side, I won't miss the current guy when he's gone, either. I also don't think he's all that and a bag of chips. So it's really not personal, Dubya.

LIPSTICK ON A PIG: SARAH PALIN IS BACK

Nothing drives me crazier than fake outrage. In this particular case, the Republican establishment is lining up outside CBS headquarters with their torches.

Sometimes, it goes the other way.

You see, everyone out there gets mad for no reason at least once in their lives. Remember the "lipstick on a pig" bit? People were really mad over it, even though it obviously had nothing to do with Sarah Palin.

Palin's return to the news comes courtesy of a David Letterman Top Ten list. Enjoy.



The "slutty flight attendant" line was a 500-foot home run to dead-center field.

Palin got pissed. Big shock.

But the diciest joke centered on the family attending a Yankees baseball game.

Letterman said "an awkward moment" occurred for Palin when, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by (Yankee third baseman) Alex Rodriguez."

Without naming her, the joke seemed to refer to Palin's 18-year-old daughter Bristol, an unwed mother.

But it was 14-year-old daughter Willow, not Bristol, who had been at the game.

Todd Palin issued a statement that said "any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable."

And Sarah Palin charged Letterman with "sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity."

Letterman responded Wednesday night.



Perfectly played, sir. That's why Letterman rules late night.

Let's make a list of things David Letterman did NOT do in these jokes.

1. Call Sarah Palin a slut.
2. Joke about ARod "knocking up" her 14-year-old daughter

If you're incapable of understanding these jokes and their proper context, you shouldn't be watching Letterman. In fact, it would probably help you to not watch any television or read anything on the internet.

Maybe Palin will someday understand this while she stares at Russia from the big window in the governor's mansion.

REPLACING PAWLENTY

We don't deviate from sports very often around here. It's usually an important story when it does happen.

This qualifies, at least for the Minnesota portion of our readership (all three of you). Two-term Governor Tim Pawlenty has decided not to run for a third term.

(Insert "He's done paw-lenty around here" joke here. Ha ha.)

2012 and a potential presidential run is a long way away, and I really don't care about that. The point isn't to speculate about Pawlenty's political future. Instead, where the hell is Minnesota going to move from here?

Pawlenty has been a lot of things to a lot of people, and while you may not agree with some of his decisions (I know I don't), it's hard to argue that he has been a strong leader in a time where so many leaders are weak-minded individuals.

(Voters, too, are weak-minded. I applaud Pawlenty for imposing his own term limit, because we've learned many times over the years that the voters are too stupid to limit the terms of annoying, snake-oil-selling career politicians.)

That strength has sometimes led to an annoying stubbornness. Pawlenty has refused to allow any taxes to be raised, leaving the state in need of massive budget cuts to rid itself of a large projected deficit. He's been consistent with this stance for his two terms in office, and something tells me he won't waver before he finally does walk.

His strong leadership (or "stubbornness", if you prefer) has led to much in-fighting with the Democrat-controlled Legislature over taxes and government spending. I'm not a fan of big government, and I fear where this state could have gone if he hadn't put the lid on taxes. Instead, Minnesota government has come under much more control than it had before.

The fighting we've been seeing between the two sides makes it clear what Minnesota needs in the governor's mansion next.

A moderate.

If the DFL gets their way, and their candidate of choice is elected in November of 2010, the state will move back toward higher taxes and more government spending, things we don't need. However, the election of another conservative would cause just as much, if not more, fighting.

That's not what this state needs. Minnesota needs a strong moderate governor who will hold the line on spending, compromise when necessary to get important things done, not play the blame game (an incredibly frustrating trait of Pawlenty's), and who won't have the look of someone who wants higher office soon.

Pawlenty generally did a good job, and I salute him for his efforts. It's not an easy job, and he tackled it with energy, zeal, and strong leadership. I also tip my cap to him for stepping away, no matter the actual motivation for that decision.

IKE'S COMING - PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN

You may remember the summer of 2005, when I offered a couple stinging posts on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. To this day, I feel the response of our federal and local officials was ridiculous, and it showed a complete lack of any forward thinking and preparation for such an event.

On this Friday night, there is a monster on its way to Galveston and Houston. It's Hurricane Ike. While it's "only" a strong Category 2 storm with winds at "only" 110 miles per hour, it's going to devastate much of the Texas coast.

Ike is a large storm with a huge field of hurricane- and tropical storm-force winds. The storm surge will be that of a major hurricane, even though Ike may not officially cross that threshold. The reason for that is that it has such a wide range of high winds from the storm center, meaning it's churned up an insane amount of water in the Gulf of Mexico.

Much of that water is going to end up being pushed up Galveston Bay.

(I am not a meteorologist, but I have done some research on tropical weather. Please don't take any of this as being an expert's opinion or anything.)

This is setting up to be a huge catastrophe for this area, and I implore you to monitor developments. If you have DirecTV, you can watch a simulcast of KHOU-TV on Channel 361. It's much better than the sensationalized crap you see on the news channels or the Weather Channel, though if you want to see Geraldo try to get blown away by the storm, you will probably have to watch Fox News.

If things are as bad as the "experts" think, we then need to unite as a real country and help these people. Give money, donate non-perishable food items, help gather supplies to send down there, give blood. Whatever you can. It's not about being a Democrat or a Republican or an Obama person or a McCain supporter.

As I said in 2005, you know these people would get in line to help you should something bad happen in your area. Please show them the same courtesy.

RANDOMIZATION: 04/03/08

So, yeah. I'm here. I'm alive. Every month, I think I'm going to update this thing more. Then I slack. I suck. Right now, I'm on my couch, enjoying the Lightning-Capitals game in sparkling high definition. Not even Joe Beninati could screw this night up.

Random thoughts on things that have already happened or are about to happen. Feel free to follow along...

• Michigan is the best college hockey team I've seen as we head into the Frozen Four. North Dakota didn't play terribly well in the Midwest Regional, and I'm not confident in their chances. Boston College is fast, and their goalie doesn't appear easily rattled. Frankly, I'm not a huge Notre Dame fan, meaning they'll probably wax Michigan in the semifinals.
• Despite all the controversy, the NCAA Selection Committee did a good job. The actual selections were made for them, as they are obligated to follow the stringent criteria. The committee didn't pick Wisconsin. The system did. The only decision the committee made that could be fairly criticized was their call to protect the top two national seeds by not making them play in regionals featuring host schools. The Colorado Springs and Madison regionals had to take their host teams (CC and Wisconsin), and the committee was right to send Michigan and Miami out east to neutral regionals. Here's hoping future selection committees follow that precedent.
  
• Please, Washington, make the NHL playoffs. And knock out someone not named "Carolina". If Boston or Philadelphia end up golfing next week, we're all winners. For that matter, Ottawa is practically useless with how they've been playing.
• I was hoping that fun, young, exuberant Edmonton team would make it out West. It's a longshot, but it would be cool as hell to see Chicago make it. I'm not anti-Nashville, but they've yet to show me much in the postseason, despite having home-ice advantage a couple times.
• The NCAA Basketball Tournament can't afford to be boring. Basketball is just not a terribly exciting sport, and the tournament - no matter the tradition - needs some compelling storylines in order to keep the viewers around. This tournament now lacks that. No one is going to care about an all-favorite Final Four, especially when it includes traditional powers like UCLA, North Carolina, and Kansas. Memphis is the only one of the bunch that can claim to be an underdog, and it's only by default because they're from a smaller conference.
• Wisconsin's shooting woes might have blown the best chance they'll have at the Final Four under Bo Ryan. Great coach, but the style he coaches leaves the team really prone to long shooting slumps that can cost them big games. Strangely enough, when those shooting slumps happen, it seems to have a real impact on the team's normally strong free-throw shooting.
• I couldn't agree more with Michael David Smith's take on the NFL's attempt to stop the trend of players letting their hair hang out of their helmets. This is petty, stupid, and could be seen by the oversensitive crowd as being racist. I have no problem with the NFL going so far as to regulate the length of a player's socks, or the color of their shoes. That's part of a uniform. Hair is not part of a uniform. This isn't a restaurant, where problems can be had by someone letting their hair hang out and fly around everywhere. People who care about the length of players' hair have entirely too much time on their hands.
• Chris Henry is in trouble again. Shocking. This time, it cost him his job in Cincinnati, and it's worth noting it's likely to cost him his NFL career. Words cannot describe how sad it is to see someone waste their gifts because they're too stupid to stay out of trouble.
  
• The Phoenix Suns were widely criticized for making the trade for Shaquille O'Neal. Well, now that Shawn Marion has shut it down for the year in Miami, and O'Neal is more and more of a fit in Phoenix's wide-open attack, the trade doesn't look so stupid. The race for eighth in the West is intriguing, with Dallas suddenly fighting for a spot against Denver and Golden State. Denver is probably the least likely of the three to make it when you consider how often they get blown out (something like 15 losses by double-digits). However, they have great talent, and Dallas is reeling with Dirk Nowitzki out. Golden State is simply the most exciting team in the sport, and one has to hope they make it. In the East, nobody cares. Just like pretty much every year.
• Baseball is underway. No major stories yet, though it's nice to see teams like Tampa Bay and Washington off to good starts. However, it's just too early to tell if those teams can sustain anything positive. I think it'll be interesting to see how the National League races develop. The Mets are hardly a slam-dunk to win the East, with Philadelphia and Atlanta both potential contenders. The Nationals would like to think they can win, but I don't see them hitting enough. In the Central, everyone is picking the Cubs, but it's as if they forgot how long Milwaukee held the lead in the division last year. It's not like the Brewers are going to disappear, even if their manager is a bit of an idiot.

NON-SPORTS WARNING...Is this really a surprise? Seriously. How could anyone think this is a big deal? At this point, the Clintons are going to have to steal the nomination from Obama. I wouldn't put it past them, but that's what it will take. At this stage, he's winning the delegate battle, the fundraising battle, and he has all the momentum. Hillary should play it smart, take a potential spot as the vice president on the ticket (because that would be a sure victory, no matter who McCain chooses as a running mate), and stop acting as if she has a good chance to win the nomination (unless Camp Clinton already has a plan in place to steal it).

AN OPEN LETTER TO SENATOR JOHN KERRY

**The following is not text of an actual letter being sent to the loser senator. I'm too lazy to buy a stamp.**

December 26, 2007

U.S. Senator John Kerry
304 Russell Bldg.
Third Floor
Washington D.C. 20510

Dear Senator Kerry

First off, belated thanks to you on running your 2004 presidential campaign incompetently enough as to ensure four more years of That Guy. Next time, why not get caught with a prostitute in the middle of the primaries so someone else can get a shot?

Anyway, that's not the point of my letter today. Senator, I wanted to congratulate you on winning your political game with the NFL office, mainly Commissioner Roger Goodell, whom you have successfully persuaded to make an NFL Network game available on regular television.

You spoke loudly about the need for everyone Patriots fans to see the game. It is a noble cause, as the Patriots are taking a shot at an unprecedented 16-0 regular season. And since only 40 percent of American homes get the NFL Network, it would be tough for all those homebound New England fans to catch their team's shot at history.

However, I have a couple questions, and only one of them is sarcastic in nature.

1. Where were you when the NFL Network's game actually mattered and meant something? Let's face facts. If New England wins this game, but loses a playoff game, they aren't remembered for going 16-0. They're remembered for not getting it done in the playoffs, despite being a transcendently good team. If New England loses this game and goes on to win the Super Bowl, they are remembered as being one of the greatest teams to ever take to an NFL field, even if they are "only" 18-1 instead of 19-0.

This game is meaningless on the standings. The Giants and Patriots have both clinched their playoff seeds, and it could be argued that the only way this game isn't a walkover for New England is if the Giants don't bench starters like Brandon Jacobs and Plaxico Burress, who are valuable but banged-up. And if they don't bench those starters, it could be argued that they're not doing something that is obviously in their best interest, since they're hitting the road for a playoff game next week.

On November 29, the Packers played at Dallas. Both teams entered the game 10-1, and the game was going to put one of them in the driver's seat for home-field advantage in the NFC playoffs. Not only that, but it was a matchup of two of the NFL's great traditional franchises, with fans planted all over the country. Somehow, Senator Kerry, you didn't have a problem with that game being on the NFL Network, where upwards of 60 percent of America couldn't see it in their homes, even Packer fans in your home state of Massachusetts, who probably had to hunt out a Packer-friendly bar somewhere.

Way to care about your constituents, Senator.

2. What about these poor fans of 48 Hours - Mystery, High Crimes, and Law and Order: SVU? You've just taken their shows away on Saturday, all in the name of your political game. I hope you're proud.

And what about those fans of My Chemical Romance? They've been waiting all week to see their performance on Saturday Night Live, and now the show won't be on time because the football game will surely run past 11:30pm Eastern time.

Poor people. More pawns in John Kerry's latest political game.

(Guess which one was sarcastic. If you can't figure it out - and I'm guessing that, as a relatively humorless U.S. Senator, you can't - it's the second one.)

I'm all for access to football games. But in an era where the NFL has allowed DirecTV to have a stranglehold over satellite distribution of out-of-market games (for a price that exceeds $1 per game), it's rather silly for Kerry or any other politician to get all in a fuss over a game like this.

10.1 million people found a way to watch Cowboys-Packers. If they really cared, they'd do it again for Giants-Patriots. The NFL doesn't need to play favorites with the Patriots and cave in to political heat in order to increase access. If anything, they've hurt the marketability of their own channel, and perhaps doomed it for failure. After all, if anything of potential historic significance is ever again relegated to the NFL Network, the league knows that they've set a rather awkward precedent with this Saturday's game.

Oh, wait. I forgot to sign the letter. Thanks for your time, Senator.

Now go away.

Sincerely,
Bruce Ciskie
Sports fan who actually made an effort to get the NFL Network