LIPSTICK ON A PIG: SARAH PALIN IS BACK

Nothing drives me crazier than fake outrage. In this particular case, the Republican establishment is lining up outside CBS headquarters with their torches.

Sometimes, it goes the other way.

You see, everyone out there gets mad for no reason at least once in their lives. Remember the "lipstick on a pig" bit? People were really mad over it, even though it obviously had nothing to do with Sarah Palin.

Palin's return to the news comes courtesy of a David Letterman Top Ten list. Enjoy.



The "slutty flight attendant" line was a 500-foot home run to dead-center field.

Palin got pissed. Big shock.

But the diciest joke centered on the family attending a Yankees baseball game.

Letterman said "an awkward moment" occurred for Palin when, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by (Yankee third baseman) Alex Rodriguez."

Without naming her, the joke seemed to refer to Palin's 18-year-old daughter Bristol, an unwed mother.

But it was 14-year-old daughter Willow, not Bristol, who had been at the game.

Todd Palin issued a statement that said "any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable."

And Sarah Palin charged Letterman with "sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity."

Letterman responded Wednesday night.



Perfectly played, sir. That's why Letterman rules late night.

Let's make a list of things David Letterman did NOT do in these jokes.

1. Call Sarah Palin a slut.
2. Joke about ARod "knocking up" her 14-year-old daughter

If you're incapable of understanding these jokes and their proper context, you shouldn't be watching Letterman. In fact, it would probably help you to not watch any television or read anything on the internet.

Maybe Palin will someday understand this while she stares at Russia from the big window in the governor's mansion.

UMD HOCKEY ANNOUNCES 2009 RECRUITS

Better late than never, eh?

We already knew about three of them, but the university Wednesday announced a 2009 freshman class of seven players.

The seven range a bit in how highly they're touted, and probably in how much they'll play with UMD this upcoming season.

No surprises here, but here is the information from the university.

Wade Bergman (5-7, 150, Defense) -- Made his hockey home in Olds, Alberta the past two seasons ... placed second among Olds Grizzly defensemen in regular season scoring in 2008-09 with 30 points on 10 goals and 20 assists in 44 outings ... added another six points (two goals and four assists) during the Grizzlies 15-game run in the Alberta Junior Hockey League playoffs ... suited up for the South Division at last January's AJHL All-Star Game in Calgary where he was teammate of fellow UMD rookie pointman Dylan Olsen ... was chosen the AJHL Rookie of the Year the previous winter after finishing the regular season as Olds' top point producing blueliner (13 goals and 22 assists in 52 regular season outings) ... is the third Grizzly alum to sign on with the Bulldogs in recent years, joining left winger Tyler Bros (2001-05) and defenseman Jay Rosehill (2004-05).

Dan DeLisle (6-4, 230, Forward) -- Drew the curtain on a prosperous three-year playing career at Totino-Grace High School this spring ... placed first on the Eagles scoring charts in each of his final two seasons, including 2008-09 when he amassed 33 goals and 29 assists for 62 points in 28 games ... secured All-North Suburban Conference status three times and was a 2008-09 Associated Press All-State honorable mention honoree ... captained the Eagles as a senior ... set a Totino-Grace High School single-season record for point by sophomore (53) ... exited the Eagle hockey program with 167 career points to his credit ... also was an all-conference performer in baseball (pitcher/first base) and as a starting goalkeeper, backstopped the soccer Eagles to a third-place finish at the 2006 Minnesota State High School Class A Tournament ... was tabbed the 138th best draft eligible North American skater by the NHL Central Scouting Service in its final rankings this year .. is the nephew of former Bulldog right winger and 1987-88 team captain Joe DeLisle.

Keegan Flaherty (6-1, 195, Forward) -- Will come back to his old hockey haunt -- the Duluth Entertainment and Convention Center -- this fall after a two-year leave of absence in the United States Hockey League ... wrapped up the 2008-09 regular season holding down the No. 8 position on the Fargo Force scoring charts with 14 goals and nine assists for 23 points while going a plus-12 in 47 games ... went pointless in nine postseason contests as Fargo advanced to the Clark Club finals (USHL playoff championships) ... served as an assistant team captain with the Force and accrued an ample amount of ice time on both their power play and penalty killing units ... strutted his stuff at the 2009 USHL Prospects/All-Star Game as a member of the West Division squad ... spent all of 2007-08 and the 2008-09 preseason with the Green Bay Gamblers before being acquired in a trade by the Force in late September ... mustered four points -- all goals -- in 47 regular season games during his debut USHL season .. helped lead the U.S. to a bronze medal at the 2007 World Junior A Challenge in Trail, British Columbia ... bypassed his senior year at Duluth East High School to enlist with the Gamblers ... skated a regular shift for three seasons with the Duluth East Greyhounds and also gained plenty of notice on the prep gridiron where he was an all-conference defensive back ,,, was slotted 109th among North American prospects in the NHL Central Scouting Service's final rankings.

Jake Hendrickson (5-10, 170, Forward) -- Engaged in one season of United States Hockey League warfare before signing on with the Bulldogs ... suited up in 50 regular season games for the Sioux City Musketeers in 2008-09 and had 16 points (four goals and 12 assists) to show for it ... starred for three years at Burnsville High School -- established a Blaze single-season record for goals (26) and points (71) as a junior and helped Burnsville secure its first Minnesota Class AA State Tournament berth for the first time in 16 years ... paced the Blaze in assists (31) the ensuing year and finished second on the team scoring charts (47 points) .... was a 2007-08 Associated Press All-State selection and a two-time All-Lake Conference pick (2006-07 and 2007-08).

Pictured above, right--> Dylan Olsen (6-2, 200, Defense) -- Seldom was his name mentioned in the Alberta Junior Hockey League circles without the word "impact" in the same sentence ... is the latest in a classy line of Camrose Kodiak products who have continued their education at UMD, following the likes of sophomore-to-be Mike Connolly, and departed Bulldogs Mason Raymond, MacGregor Sharp, Matt McKnight and Evan Oberg ... finished second among 2008-09 Kodiak defensemen in scoring (and was fourth on the team overall) with 29 points in 57 regular season outings en route to landing a spot on the South Division All-Star Team .... was also one of nine finalists for the Royal Bank Cup Canadian Junior Hockey Player of the Year Award in 2008-09 ... served as a Camrose team captain last season ... laced up his skates for the South Division at the 2009 AJHL All-Star Game, for Canada West at the 2008 World Junior A Challenge, and for Canada at the 2009 IIHF World Under-18 Championship (he was the only Junior A player on the Canadian roster) ... made his AJHL debut in 2007-08 and wound up with eight goals and 16 assists for 24 points during the regular season before helping Camrose place second at the Royal Bank Cup (Canadian Junior A Championships) later that spring ... received the Kodiak's Rookie of the Year award for his spirited play ... the NHL Central Scouting Service labeled him the 27th best draft-eligible North American in its final rankings for 2008-09 ... his father, Darryl Olsen, was a fixture on the Northern Michigan University blueline for four years (1985-89).

Drew Olson (5-11, 215, Defense) -- Holds the distinction of being the first member of the Bulldogs' incoming freshmen class to be drafted -- was selected in the fourth round (118th pick overall) by the Columbus Bluejackets in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft ... manned the point for one year with the Omaha Lancers of the United States Hockey League prior to signing with UMD ... completed the 2008-09 regular season with eight points on two goals and six assists in 39 games and was a plus-3 to boot ... missed a sizeable portion of the year while nursing a leg injury ... was a three-year puck standout at Brainerd High School where he landed All-Central Lakes Conference recognition on a pair of occasions (2006-07 and 2007-08) in addition to being named a finalist for Minnesota's Mr. Hockey Award as a senior in 2007-08 ... also was an Associated Press All-State second team honoree that season after collecting 20 goals and 16 assists in 27 outings ... played one year of football (linebacker) and baseball (outfielder) with the Warriors as well.

Mike Seidel (5-10, 175, Forward) -- Saved his best hockey for last as a third-year United States Hockey League veteran in 2008-09 ... established a career high for regular season points with 73, a number unsurpassed by any Cedar Rapids RoughRider and only three other USHL combatants ... also ranked first on the club in goals (29), assists (44), shorthanded tallies (three), game winners (five) and shots (211) ...was aptly rewarded with a selection to the All-USHL second team ... also represented the East Division at the 2009 USHL Prospects/All-Star Game ...followed up a 47-point rookie year in Cedar Rapids by chipping in 16 goals and 27 assists during the 2007-08 regular season ... is the fourth Illinois native to make his way to the UMD.

No, Mike Seidel isn't thought to be related to Mike Seidel of Weather Channel fame, though that would be funny.

All in all, an impressive class, likely highlighted by Olsen, who could be a first-round pick in the NHL Draft June 26.

GAME SEVEN

It's all up for grabs on Friday.

Plenty of coverage at FanHouse, as you would expect.

Anyone who listened to me on the radio for years knows I don't predict the outcome of a Game 7. They're to be enjoyed, not prognosticated.

Plus, all bets are off.

GARY THORNE: THE 'OTHER' GREAT HOCKEY VOICE

As I grew into a hockey fan during the 1990s, there were two voices that became synonymous with the game.

One of them is still doing a great job calling NHL games.

The other is now the play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles.

Seems a bit unfair, eh?

Gary Thorne has spent many, many years at ABC/ESPN, and he's kept on as the good soldier even as the Disney properties have decided to virtually ignore his favorite sport. Now, the only hockey he gets is the Frozen Four, which amounts to three games a year.

FanHouse colleague Susan Slusser writes about the Oakland A's as her "real job", and she had a chance to chat with Thorne over the weekend, as the A's hosted the Baltimore Orioles.

"I miss the hell out of it," he told FanHouse when the Orioles visited Oakland to play the A's this weekend. "There's nothing like it, a month and a half of the last man standing."

Not only does he miss it, but it misses him. I love Mike Emrick, the other benchmark of hockey play-by-play. He's fantastic, and I wouldn't trade him for virtually anyone. However, if there was a person living today that I'd trade Emrick for, it would be Thorne.

To me, it would be akin to being a football general manager and dealing Peyton Manning for Tom Brady. How could you screw that up?

For those who may be unfamiliar, here are some of Thorne's greatest calls, starting with the biggest goal legendary Red Wing Steve Yzerman may have ever scored.



Who can forget Mark Messier Guarantee Night in 1994?



Thorne also called the last game before the season-cancelling NHL lockout: Game 7 of the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals.



More recently, Thorne had the honor of calling the Frozen Four final between Boston University and Miami.



Someone get this guy a hockey job, for crying out loud.

ROB DIBBLE: STILL A JACKASS

Some of you may remember former major-league pitcher Rob Dibble.

The fiery reliever spent seven seasons in the bigs, and has been able to cultivate a career for himself in broadcasting.

While co-hosting the old Dan Patrick Show (the one that used to be on ESPN, that is), Dibble made a name for himself by blasting anyone who dared share an opinion about baseball without having played the game at a high level.

Since he got canned at ESPN, I haven't had the misfortune of hearing much from him.

When the baseball season started in April, my free preview of MLB Extra Innings allowed me to discover Dibble working Nationals games. Not surprisingly, he is still a jackass.

ESPN.com columnist Rob Neyer, who was a many-times guest and great friend of my old radio show, noted Dibble's displeasure with a called third strike during Randy Johnson's 300th win last week, which came against the Nationals.

Really, I just wanted an excuse to write about Rob Dibble. For years, I was less than a fan of his work at various networks. So you can imagine my shock, when I realized that I sort of like him in his current role with the Nationals. Yes, he's still a blowhard who believes that if you didn't play the game, you don't know anything about it. But he's got a good voice, he's quite a bit smarter than you probably think, and he's not been pulling his punches while the Nationals have become the biggest joke in the game.

Hardly a cheap shot. In fact, everything Neyer wrote about Dibble and wonderfully competent partner Bob Carpenter was accurate.

Dibble, naturally, went off. He did it on Twitter, as noted by The Big Lead.


I'll admit some bias in this case. Neyer was great to me for a number of years.

However, anyone who knows anything about baseball media also knows that Neyer has been around the pro game longer than Dibble has, and he's written more really good stuff about the game than Dibble could ever hope to read (assuming, of course, that Dibble bothers to read stuff other people write about baseball).

Oh, and most people also know that Rob Dibble is a richard. Always has been, and always will be.

I've never bought into the elitist argument that you have to play a sport at a high level to know anything about it. The fact that one of the best managers in baseball is former journeyman player Terry Francona -- and former small-college player Bill Belichick is one of the most accomplished coaches in all of the NFL -- should help you understand how this works.

Dibble can continue to wage a useless war against good people if he wants to, but since he works for the Nationals now, it's doubtful anyone will pay attention.

MSHSL MAKES CHANGE FOR SAKE OF CHANGE

The Minnesota State High School League met Monday to go over some potential rules changes. One of the more interesting rules they have decided to inact puts severe limits on the ability of sports teams to travel for games or scrimmages.

The gist: No out-of-state travel (except to a bordering state) that covers more than 600 miles round-trip unless you ask the state league first.

John Millea of the Star Tribune, who is braving the boredom of these meetings, has more on the move.

The travel limit does include spring break trips. Families can still go anywhere they want, obviously, but school teams will not be allowed to travel (other than to states and provinces bordering Minnesota) unless it’s a round trip of no more than 600 miles from the school. Makes no difference if they’re only going to hold scrimmages.

Honestly, I'm not sure I like this one.

You're telling spring sports teams they can't go to Florida or California to pick up games, even if they pick up the costs themselves and don't miss any school time.

I understand the desire to avoid having a team from, say, Duluth, having to travel to Michigan to play a game, and missing school time to make it happen. That's fine with me, and I'd endorse such a change.

However, a blanket rule -- even with this strange "without approval from the MSHSL" caveat -- doesn't really accomplish much.

Not only that, but teams in northern states absolutely need to be able to travel to play games in the spring. Until softball and baseball can be reasonably played in mud and snow, this just a part of life. It's especially true once the Metrodome is (thankfully) blowed up.

KYLE BUSCH MAKES MORE WAVES

After dominating a long stretch of NASCAR Nationwide Series races and getting zero wins to show for it, Kyle Busch finally cashed in on his run of great racing Saturday night.

When he did, he decided that he didn't like the trophy -- a Gibson guitar -- very much. Or so it seemed.



Busch's smashing stunt made for some more controversy around the sport, as pundits weighed in on his celebration.

It seemed that Busch didn't have a lot of allies in the media. He was asked Sunday on pit road about this "controversy", and he seemed genuinely surprised that there was any talk about it.

Busch said the Gibson people seemed to get a kick out of it, and he (Busch) ordered two more guitars -- one for him and one for crew chief Jason Ratliff. He said the broken guitar was going to be chopped up, with pieces given to all the crew members. Busch noted that the crew doesn't get to share in a celebration like that normally, so he wanted them to have a piece of the trophy.

Wow. What an enormous jerk he is for doing something like that.

I apologize if I'm supposed to fake outrage over Busch's actions. I get that he's the spawn of Satan, put on this Earth just to torture NASCAR fans, especially those of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. That, however, doesn't mean that Busch is wrong in everything he does, or that Junior is always right.

In this case, Busch found a rather unique way to celebrate a race win. While he may have been doing it to be a "HEY LOOK AT ME!" kind of guy at the time, he found a way to spin it into a positive.

Not only that, but I'm sure guys like Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson appreciate the diverted attention.

BRETT FAVRE WANTS THE SPOTLIGHT

There's no better cure for a guy who wants the spotlight than the spotlight.

If you're hooked on attention, and you know you can get attention by floating your name into the media like a trial balloon, wouldn't you do it constantly?

That's really all that Brett Favre is doing right now. He's testing us. He wants to know how many times the media will fawn over him like he's Miley Cyrus, just because there's a report he might have done something.

The latest? Favre evidently had shoulder surgery last month in Alabama. After all, he needed to do that in order to come back, and while he hasn't made a decision about coming back, he figured he'd keep his options open.

Now, there's a real gem on ESPN.com.

Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress has imposed a deadline of this week for Brett Favre to decide whether he will be the team's quarterback for the upcoming season, according to two sources.

Yeah, right.

This is almost as believeable as a Brett Favre retirement.

You're telling me the Minnesota Vikings would turn down a chance to sign Brett Favre because he wanted to wait until July 1, or even August 1?

I'll believe it only when the Walking Narcissist isn't the Vikin'gs' Week 1 starter. Until then, there's no reason to dismiss anything, regardless of what anyone says publicly or behind the veil of "sources".

PHIL!

It's always a good day when Phil Steele's College Football Preview arrives in the ol' mailbox.

It goes on sale nationally on Tuesday, but Phil was kind enough to send me an advance copy (thanks, Phil!).

Without giving the whole thing away (just go buy it, seriously!), here are some pointers from one of the sport's best prognosticators.

BUY BUY BUY!

• Mississippi, like many others. Phil loves the recruiting that was done by Orgeron. Now Houston Nutt gets to look good as a result.
• Notre Dame. Phil is all over the Irish's cake schedule, and he says Jimmy Clausen has a top-rated line and the best receivers in the country. This would take Chuck Weis off the hot seat.
• UCLA. Again, there will be many picking the Bruins to rise, but Phil makes a good case surrounding the return of 16 starters.

SELL SELL SELL!

• Northwestern. While Phil thinks they could go bowling, he says the heavy losses on offense will be tough to overcome.
• Missouri. Sorry, Tiger fans. Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin only head the list of departures. It's a lot to ask for Missouri to be a contender.
• Maryland. Phil ranks the offensive and defensive lines near the bottom of the ACC and calls it a "rebuilding" year for The Fridge.

More to come. Just like last year, I'll fight my way through a mountain of information and present my previews later in the summer.

For now, go buy Phil's magazine, or order it here.

TRUTHS ABOUT THE NBA FINALS

I have no magical potion to figure out what will happen in this series, though I think the Lakers will win.

I do, however, feel pretty strongly about a few statements, and the result of the series won't change my mind.

For a basketball fan, this isn't a bad series at all.

I heard Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio talking about this. He made -- hark! -- a really good point. The idea here is that the Cleveland-San Antonio series a couple years ago was a bad matchup for the league. It was a one-man team against a heavy favorite that lacked a serious personality. Remember, the media was so hell-bent on finding a storyline with that Spurs team that they were screaming every five minutes about Bruce Bowen being a dirty player. That's all they could come up with.

There is likely no shortage of entertaining basketball coming in this year's Finals. The Lakers can run the floor with the best of them, and Orlando will push the tempo and take a lot of shots.

There are superstars on both teams, with Kobe for the Lakers and Dwight Howard for Orlando. Not only that, but for Howard, this is a chance to make some noise as a mainstream star, something that hasn't really happened because everyone is too busy fellating LeBron he plays in Orlando.

Orlando has a chance.

Any team that has beaten the likes of Boston and Cleveland has to be given a real shot to win a best-of-seven. You know they'll have at least one game where they shoot lights-out and can't be stopped. That leaves them to get three wins in six games, and I believe this Orlando team is good enough to go 3-3 against anyone in the league.

That said, it's too hard to pick a team like Orlando to win. They don't have the talent to match up with Los Angeles, and they have to rely on the sly coaching of Stan Van Gundy and their long-range shooters.

Oh, and they have to hope the refs don't screw them. There, I said it.

If nothing else, the Van Gundy storyline adds intrigue.

My background in broadcasting makes me naturally interested in something like this. I thought Bob Griese was borderline terrible when he called his son's games at Michigan. Almost like he was trying too hard to hide what everyone knew.

Jeff Van Gundy offered to be taken off the ABC broadcasts of the NBA Finals when Orlando made it. He thinks he can fairly call games coached by his brother, but he didn't want anyone to think he was pushing an agenda.

ABC declined, trusting he would be a professional. While I think he will do a good job, the bottom line is that Jeff Van Gundy is a human being. His presence has helped ABC immensely, and I think it will help them in these Finals, as people will be waiting for him to slip up and start cheering from press row.

The Magic don't need Jameer Nelson.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure they'd love to have him. But putting a player who is rusty and possibly not 100 percent on the floor isn't going to help you beat a team like the Lakers. Stan Van Gundy has set a rotation, and he's worked it well during his team's playoff run.

The last thing they should do right now is mess with that rotation to put an injured player on the floor. Yes, Nelson could help the Magic. He also could hinder them, and it's not at all worth the risk involved.

I won't be watching very much.

It doesn't help that I'm not an NBA fan. It also doesn't help that I get up for work early in the morning. 8pm Central time starts just don't agree with my schedule.

But I know I don't matter to the NBA. Neither does anyone in the Eastern time zone. Instead, they set a start time that caters to -- of all things -- the West Coast.

It's one thing that the NHL does more right than the NBA. It might be only one thing, but for the NHL, it has to be considered a start.